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July 6, 2020 - No Comments!

A-list Community Audacity

During our last A-mazing leaders’ session, we talked about Audacity. The willingness to take risks to fulfil your dreams and your potential. 

And I did an audacious thing and leaned into my edge by showing up "unprepared" and not using my usual perfect slides.  Ready to listen and follow the energy in the room.  For those who don’t know me, preparation and planning are my superpowers, so not using them felt edgy.  And sharing my edginess with the group created some magic. 

Inessa, one of our audacious leaders, reminded me of Churchill ‘s quote "If you want me to speak for 2 hours, I'm ready now, if you want me to speak for 2 min, give me 2 weeks to prepare!"  I was ready for the challenge.  And ready to challenge our leaders to speak up and share audaciously, by stating I was going to be silent for 5 min. After what felt like an eternity to me, a wonderful collection of stories emerged as a result....Stories of courage, of vulnerability and necessity. Of dreams to make the world a better place. Starting with us.

We agreed to put courage over comfort and play big and "dream without limits".  Everyone virtually chose one of the 4 questions from my jar with magical questions:

  1. What would you do with your life if you had all the money you needed?
  2. What would you do if you had all the skills and knowledge you needed?
  3. What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
  4. What would you do if you had all the time you needed?

You see, we sometimes blame the lack of resources for our lack of resourcefulness. Or our unwillingness to take risks. You need to find the resourcefulness inside yourself to deal with the fear of or perceived lack of the resources you think you need (money, time, skills/knowledge and failure)!  If you have the resourcefulness, you will find the resources. 

Taking risks is not about being fearless or having no fear. It’s about acknowledging the fear and doing it anyway. It’s about knowing what you know and what you don’t know.  It’s about being open to people, open to ideas, and the chances you take to make your vision and dreams a reality.   

My biggest insight from the session? All of us found it easier to be courageous in our youth, as audacious Kora reminded us! When we had much less to lose. We had no fear of losing the money, the status or the recognition we didn’t yet have! Anything that you are not willing to lose, it has power over you.  The only real freedom is freedom from fear.

What is your fear? And what would you do if you could own that fear? As Tatiana told us “Fear is a gift. It’s telling us when we need to act or which way we need to go”.  

To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.  Let yourself be seen and be audacious. As Carmen told us, “let yourself go and flow with the river of life”.

ADA, 4 July 2020

June 24, 2020 - No Comments!

A-LIST Community Manifesto

On Saturday 20 June 2020, our ADAPTAA team embarked on a journey of co-creating a community of A-mazing leaders.  A-mazing human beings with open minds, big hearts, and an infinite mindset. A mindset of learning and sharing.  A mindset of curiosity, commitment, and courage.

Meet our A-list team who will be taking the A-list community on that journey:

Alina CFO - Chief Founding Officer - she will make things happen for you.

Tatiana CEO - Chief Expression Officer - she will speak her truth, even when you don't want to hear it.

CArmen CHO - Chief Happiness Officer - she will make you happy, by connecting you with your heart.

KorA CMO - Chief Media Officer - promoting our A-list community to create a massive ROI (Ripple of Impact).

Leaderships starts from within. As a leader, the first person you need to lead is you. And as a leader, the person you should try to change first is also you.

Inspired by Sigmund Freud and our own deep work with Rich Litvin, the master coach of community creation, we created the A-list Community. Rich told us that Freud’s Wednesday Night Club was a group of fellow psychoanalysts that gathered together every week. At the end of his life, the members credited Freud’s group with the best professional development they’d ever received. We will credit Rich, for our inspiration.

Our inaugural A-list programme which started on Saturday 20 June 2020 gathered together a diverse group of highly Accomplished professionals and entrepreneurs who will be shaping the leadership of tomorrow through their Actions today. People we called A-list leaders. People sharing, giving and taking and inspiring each other during a 9 week journey and beyond. Exploring all the A-list themes of: Acknowledgement, Acceptance, Attention, Authenticity, Awareness, Audacity, Attachment, Aspiration and Action.

Our vision is to co-create a 222 Leadership Movement, bringing together 222 of these A-mazing human beings by 2022.  Leaders hand picked by us and our A-list community of co-creators.

Our purpose is to start leading differently, deeply connected with our mind, listening to our heart and trusting our gut.  We want to role model this to everyone we come in contact with and maximize our ROI - Ripple of Impact. Just like the pebble drops into the water and creates ripples, our actions will be reaching far.  Our biggest competitor will only ever be our own fear of change.

As executive coaches, we are measured by our ability to see something that everyone else is seeing and notice something different. And our ultimate success is spending time with our clients and making positive changes to their future.

Stephen Curry, the highly acclaimed professional basketball player has been credited with saying: “Amateurs compete. Professionals create”.

We are standing for co-creating a future that does not yet exist. A future we may not yet be prepared for, but for which we are ready! And today we have thrown the first pebble into the water and started this journey with 20 A-mazing leaders, with courage, excitement and joy!

What are you ready for, yet not feeling prepared for?

ADA, 20 June 2020

April 14, 2020 - No Comments!

Testimonial for 1-2-1 coaching from HEAD OF DEPARTMENT, PRIVATE EQUITY FIRM

"Working with Alina has been extremely impactful for me, both professionally and personally. She has given me the courage I needed in my own convictions, always guiding me with incisive questioning and gentle honesty. Her charisma, energy and kindness shine through in every session, empowering her clients to be the best, most effective versions of themselves. I am extremely grateful to Alina for her help and time." 

NINA, HEAD OF DEPARTMENT, PRIVATE EQUITY FIRM

November 24, 2019 - No Comments!

Loss, Love and Rollercoasters

All in one week!

Deep loss

I have just lost a dear friend, Aveen, to cancer. She was 57, beautiful inside and outside. She left behind a “feisty” 16 year old daughter, a “hero” husband (in her own words) and  many heartbroken friends. She left in style, planning her departure to the last detail. Bamboo coffin. Leopard skin car. Bob Dylan music. And she even wrote her own eulogy!  “You have no choice on what time does to you. You have a choice on how you spend your time.  Choose to spend it well.”

There were hundreds of people turning up to her funeral this week. Nowhere to sit or stand...Moving words from some of her longest-standing friends. Same words: Courageous, Tenacious and Loyal. And Kind, Kind, Kind. Every single one remembered acts of kindness and what they meant to them. A great trait to be remembered for!

Aveen had a tough young life, but a beautiful whole life. That’s what made her strong and kind. And a fighter till the end. She would have been a true role model to any of my Courageous Women retreats.

I felt privileged to have known her and her kind spirit. And get to witness her deep love and commitment to her family.

Deep love

They say one of the happiest things in life is to see your parents growing old together.

I feel very lucky to have experienced my parents 50th golden wedding anniversary a week ago. It was a big and happy celebration, surrounded by dear friends and family members.

What a privilege to feel the love and commitment that my parents gave each other over such a long period.  And choosing to stand by and for each other through their life roller coasters. And through their children’s and grandchildren rollercoasters too!

Rollercoasters

As an executive coach I help people reach highs they never thought possible.

And I celebrate my own success, alongside my clients’ highs.  Individual clients achieving their dreams, teams making small changes for big shifts, courageous women learning self-compassion, workshops teaching key Emotional Intelligence and leadership skills.

And I teach my clients that success does not lead to happiness. It’s the happiness that leads to success.

At the moment, my son is not happy. The GCSE exam pressure is too much. And when he is not happy, he stops functioning. And the whole ecosystem around him is disrupted. We all suffer. No sleep. No energy. Burnout. The low and negative energy zone.

So it’s time to try to get him happy again. So we are all happy. And the whole ecosystem can go back to the high performance zone of high and positive energy.

Riding the life’s rollercoaster is constantly moving between the high/low and positive/negative energy zones.  My son’s rollercoasters just happen to be 10x higher, enrolling his loved ones in deeper highs and lows.

It’s time to slow down to be able to speed up again for the next ride!

With lots of love from the low and positive energy zone of self-renewal.

Alina

ADA, Nov 2019

July 30, 2019 - No Comments!

Be Bold, Authentic and Kind

When I started my blog 2 years ago on the theme of “What have I Learnt today”, I underestimated the commitment needed to make it a consistent and regular practice.

Putting myself on the line was a bold statement at the time and the beginning of an extraordinary journey of learning and discovery.  

I chose to write my blog only when I felt inspired by insights that shifted my perspective.  And so, my latest insight builds on the kindness theme from my previous blog, after experiencing the true power created when boldness and authenticity are added to the mix!

Authentic 

I’ve just completed the Landmark Forum course; an unusual, yet powerful experience.  Amongst many insights, the one that stood out for me was the choice to live an authentic life. 

And the definition of being authentic?  Is to take responsibility for when you have been inauthentic which happens to us all much more often than we dare admit!

It means making a clear distinction between facts, and our interpretation of those facts, which we build into stories that adjust reality and shape our lives, rarely for the better.  It means being real about when you feel upset, disappointed, betrayed or angry and let people we care about, know about it.  This is a huge ask given that most people choose to live an inauthentic life mostly without ever being aware of it.

Bold

And once you become aware, being authentic about being inauthentic takes a lot of courage!  Is what Brené Brown would call being vulnerable; the other side of the same coin called Courage.  And it’s where true magic happens. 

I resisted committing myself to this intensive course for 5 years finding all sorts of excuses.  If you want to do something, you will find a way and if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.  One of my excuses was that I knew it all already! 

How little did I know! My excuse faded away when someone I trusted suggested it would make a huge, positive impact on my son’s life.  For him to do it, I had to do it first. Suddenly, 3 full, intensive days were no longer a huge commitment but a necessary step to make a difference for him. 

And in that process, I re-defined boldness.  It is having the courage to ask for what you want in an authentic way.  As Oprah said “in life you get what you have the courage to ask for”.

As an executive coach, I work with people to improve their performance to levels they never thought possible.  Giving them the courage (or what some call confidence) to speak up, to get a dream job, a dream promotion, to get better connected with their team or make some difficult choices to achieve that elusive work-life balance. 

As my own coach would say, it is “helping people dare more” to achieve extraordinary results. 

Kind

“It is nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”   Not easy when kindness is seen as a weakness in the corporate world.  But it’s by far one of the most important investments you’ll ever make and one that will pay off multiple times in the long term.

What do you want to be known for? “Being kind” is what my kids would say! 

By any definition, my son is extra bold! He doesn’t have a social filter and sees life in pure black and white terms.  He has the courage to say what he sees and what he hears.  It’s called honesty in his world.  In the “real world”, it’s called cute at 5 and embarrassing and insensitive at 15.  He has the courage to ask for what he wants and persevere until he gets it!  

But being bold, honest and persistent (the positive side of having OCD) is a paradox not always understood by the world around him.

Explaining that bold honesty is not always perceived as kind is not an easy task!  Explaining that HOW you say it matters just as much as WHAT you say is a work in progress in my son’s understanding of the value of “social kindness”.  And that authenticity is all about YOUR behaviour and never about the other person.

The work I do with my son is the biggest testimony of what is possible and what can be achieved, when choosing to shape your Emotional Intelligence.  And once he, and anyone else, can master the skill of being bold, authentic and kind, all at the same time, the possibilities become endless!

If you want to practice mastering that skill, join us at our Courageous Women leadership retreat on 26-29 September 2019. Get in touch via www.extramileretreats.com to register your interest. 

Be bold, authentic and kind!

ADA, July 2019

All at the same time!